Homebirth Without a Home

In one week, we don’t know where we’ll be living.  In one month, our baby will be born…

As many of you know, my wife and I have recently felt a calling to move out into the country to live off the land and teach/demonstrate permaculture.  We found a perfect house in a tiny town called Carlton, GA.  The house is Tori’s absolute dream, and the yard is mine.  After much prayer, seeking, and negotiating with the owner we agreed upon lease terms.  We would rent for two years, a portion of our rent would go towards a down payment on the home, and we would be given first right of refusal.  The home would be off the market during that time.

This was all agreed upon last week.  Now we were only waiting on the owner to sign the lease and for our applications to be processed by the property manager.

This morning, we were expecting a call from the property manager letting us know that our applications were approved and to tell us how to pick up the keys, etc.  We had already coordinated with the owner to move our stuff into the house this Friday.

We did get a call this morning from the property manager, but it was to inform us that an inspector was coming on Friday because an offer had been made on the home, and the owner was planning to sell instead.  Apparently he had been entertaining an offer to buy for weeks, but had led us to believe that the place was ours to live in if we wanted.  Business-wise, a smart move.  But not a great way to treat my 9 month pregnant wife. Come on, man! At least tell us about the other offer so we aren’t left high and dry 4 days before we were going to move in!

Besides feeling betrayed, we are really overwhelmed by this news.  We have been displaced for the past month, staying at a friend’s house while they were in Africa.  But, this coming Monday, they will be back, and we need to have a place to go next.  Now we have no idea where that will be.

We know we have friends who will take us in temporarily, but Tori’s nesting instinct is so high now, as she is 9 months pregnant, that I really think I need to find us a home for her to settle into.  And, we are scheduled for a water birth “at home” (location TBD).

What do I do?  It’s possible that this offer on our dream home will fall through, but that could take weeks to find out, and we have 6 days before we are displaced again.

I hesitate putting this out online because I really don’t need to complain to the entire internet, but truth be told this is a desperate attempt.  For what?  I don’t know.  Prayer?  Yes.  $132,000 so we can just buy the house instead of having to rent from this guy that we aren’t too fond of at the moment?  Ok compassionate millionaire, if you’re really offering.  Really it’s just a desperate attempt to find an unknown solution to our problem.

Every step of this process has been hard.  Adjusting my business, working till 9 pm night to save up enough money for the transition, getting ourselves ready for the big change, finding a midwife that will come 2 hours away to deliver for us,.  But it all felt worth it.  Now, I don’t know what it was all for.

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About Adam

I am a old Christian seeking to become new. I want to know and follow Jesus: the "New Adam" who made the way back to Paradise. I graduated from North Central University with a degree in Business and a Bible Minor. I married my wife Tori in June of 2011 in Colorado. Our ceremony could be best described as pseudo-Quaker. Our reception was a farm-to-table communion meal. Our wedding dance: essentially a music festival. It was a full picture of our ministry as a couple. I grew up in the Dakotas. It's not my favorite location in the world. I have a dad, a mom, and a sister. My parents have been together for about 30 years. We love each other, but it's a bit dysfunctional. I am now a free lance gardener. I promote gardening, community, and preferably a combination thereof.
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17 Responses to Homebirth Without a Home

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey Adam, “Nothing is lost in the mind of God” keep saying that and believe it and all will be found.I use this when I’ve lost something and it seriously always works.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Well – God HAS to do a miracle. He has no other option. He will, don’t lose heart. Just don’t put an expectation on what that miracle will be.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I am praying and can offer help if you want. My heart aches for you guys and I am here for you always! I love you- all THREE of you and of course doggy Roxy!

  4. Michael Malone says:

    How disheartening, I can’t imagine the knot in your stomach. Will be praying in the coming weeks. Specifically for a perceptible intervention in your situation. Also that you and Tory can find some earthly comfort in the promises of scripture (like Romans 8:18, 2 Cor. 4:16-18, 1 Peter 5:10).

  5. Adam says:

    Thanks! Just curious, who is this? The profile just says “someone.”

  6. Anonymous says:

    Jehovah our Lord will help you. Keep seeking and you will find.

  7. Mary says:

    This may or may not be a feasible option, but you may be interested in HEART in Lake Wales, FL. Look it up. And if it is feasible and you need help making the transition, contact the Lake Wales Care Center.

  8. Hannah Day says:

    Praying.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Praying for you, I know God will provide!

  10. Anonymous says:

    I am sorry to hear this. I think what you are doing with your life is inspiring…I say this in the kindest way possible. I think it might be a good idea to be a bit more practical about your life choices at this point. I think God does provide but I think we have to do our part. I wish you the best and I am praying for the outcome that God wills.

  11. Stacy says:

    Praying that you guys find a place and soon! Is Tori using a CNM or CPM? Most CNM’s have hospital privileges, if not, you may be able to use a hospital CNM and your original homebirth midwife as a doula. Just a thought. I can’t imagine the uncertainty of not knowing where your baby will be born.

  12. there are usually hotels near hospitals (because patient families may need temporary housing). that way you will be nearby if you need a transfer.

    That’s my suggestion. You can take stuff to the room to make it more ‘homey’ for you.

  13. M says:

    @shameonbetterbirth
    Seriously? Plan to give birth in a hospital? That poor hospital staff- not only will the woman be screaming up a storm around the other guests, the cleaning staff will have to deal with all the blood and fecal matter and other bodily fluids scattered around the room and on the sheets. And if something does go wrong- do you know how much blood a person has? It’ll soak through the mattress, the carpet on the floor, and deep into the surface below. It’ll never come out.

    That is a ridiculous thing to suggest. Just go to a hospital- it’s safer anyways for both mother and baby, and most hospitals will respect requests for dim lights and minimal interventions. Especially if the plan is to use a CPM or a DEM- they’re unqualified medical providers anyways. Far, far better to go to a hospital than put one’s life in their hands.

  14. Hannah Day says:

    Dear M,

    I could argue with you about homebirth and hospital birth and throw out all sorts of proof and facts for both. However, that is not the heart of the matter here. The heart of the matter in this situation is that Adam & Tori don’t need discouragement in this time in their lives, they need encouragement. If you are a Christian, shame on you. You should not be giving your opinion in a time like this, you should be praying for the Haugebergs and saying things like “hey I’m gonna pray for you; I’ve got your back!” If you are not Christian, you should have more cuthe. This is not a time to share opinions, this is a time to support.

    Birth is a deeply personal place in any couples lives. Opinions should not be giving on this topic unless explicitly asked for by the couple, and also only if you are a close confidant. Hurtful comments should never be made, especially in this public forum.

    This is not a time to rebuke and discourage. Adam and Tori had not asked for any of this is there blog post. They simply shared their need of a home…not to start the discussion types of birth choices. They asked for prayer. Not opinion. For support. Not accusations and condescension.

    I will give you the benefit of the doubt and thank you for caring for Adam and Tori, however, this is neither the time nor the place to voice opinions. This is a time to support, love, and encourage. And if you are a Christian, take it to God. The Holy Spirit will speak to Adam and Tori. Trust that He is who He says He is. If Adam and Tori need to change their minds on the type of birth they will have, may it be because the Holy Spirit touches their hearts…and not because they feel pressured and condemned by a friend, family member or stranger.

    I encourage all of us to support and pray for Adam and Tori, whether you are a Christian or not. Be encouraging. Pray the Lord provides a home. Pray that His will be done.

    Sincerely,
    -Hannah Day-

  15. booya says:

    Dear Hannah Day
    ” If you are a Christian, shame on you. ”

    Well, you claim to be a christian. So I’m just going to say that’s some bad christianing right there. Shame is a shitty motivator. So let’s leave it out.

    Adam, where are you staying now?

  16. Pingback: Home to Bethlehem | New Adam, Earth

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